La Sierra University Orgy / Jeffry Kaatz and Gary Bradley "Forced to Resign" / Revenge Lawsuit

On 20 Apr 2011, Dr. Jeffry Kaatz was Vice President for Advancement at the very progressive La Sierra University. http://business.lasierra.edu/deancouncil.htm "As members of the diverse La Sierra Community, we are committed to inquiry, learning, and service. Our community is rooted in the Christian gospel and Seventh-day Adventist values and ideals." http://www.lasierra.edu/index.php?id=260

PUSHING BACK THE FRONTIERS OF SCIENCE

Dr. Kaatz likes to keep his university on the cutting edge of research.

A thorny problem had arisen, and so he surveyed his well-stocked stable of talented academics.

The problem had to do with anatomy, so naturally Dr. Kaatz called upon his top biology professor Dr. Gary Bradley.

These brothers met for a brainstorming session at the house of Dr. Jim Beach, Dean of the College of Arts & Sciences.

Dr. Kaatz opened the session with a brief description of the research problem. Which concerned church administrator Dan Jackson.

Well, what did these scholars need to know about Brother Jackson's anatomy? He has two eyes, two ears, and a very small moustache.

But anyone can see that.

So, what kind of research was still needed?

Well, it concerned body parts of Pastor Jackson which most people don't see. More specifically, his reproductive department.

The man has some children. His wife Donna (Dreams brand of perfume) looks well-satisfied. So, what was the problem?

HAD THE PRESIDENT BEEN CASTRATED?

Well, it concerned the pastor's balls, or rather, alleged lack thereof. You see, La Sierra University wanted to determine if Brother Jackson was a eunuch.

"Stargate SG-1: Seth (#3.2)" (1999)
[Trying to infiltrate Seth's cult]
Jack O'Neill: Dare I ask about the men inside the compound?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: They were turned into eunuchs.
Jack O'Neill: Eunuchs, as in "snippity-do-dah"? http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0005966/quotes

THERE WAS SOME EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY

But what about those three children of his? How could Elder Jackson have made those babies without the necessary hardware?

Well, the debate seesawed back and forth. At times passionate, and at times subdued.

Progress was painfully slow, until Dr. Bradley finally turned to his "secret weapon" -- the research tool that had enabled him to diagnose top Adventist evangelist David Asscherick as insane.

These illustrious pillars of La Sierra University studied their research materials (see at right) carefully.

("Sources have told Adventist Today that each of the four men independently confirmed he had been drinking alcoholic beverages". (Atoday Editorial Team, La Sierra University Resignation Saga: Stranger-than-Fiction, Adventist Today, 1 Jul 2011))

EUREKA!!!

And then came the breaktrough -- the professors determined that "Dan Jackson, the NAD president" was a eunuch. (Atoday Editorial Team, La Sierra University Resignation Saga: Stranger-than-Fiction, Adventist Today, 1 Jul 2011)

What a triumph of academic inquiry!!!"

"GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN"

How lucky that a member of the board of trustees dropped in.

Dr. Bradley and Dr. Kaatz informed him of their research breakthroughs, and shared some of those "scholarly resources".

The trustee, Brother Darnell, was suitably impressed, and passed on the findings to some other people.

CAREFUL STEWARDSHIP

Brother Jackson is placing an emphasis on careful management of resources. And didn't see why church monies should be spent on drunken ramblings dressed up as "research".

Pacific Union Conference president Ricardo Graham agreed, and so he talked individually with the La Sierra researchers, and got them to resign.

BUT ITS A COLD, COLD WORLD

The scientists got to thinking - where else can I have it this easy?

Its a daunting world out there, with heavy demands for footnotes in peer-reviewed papers.

And so they decided to file a lawsuit to force La Sierra to reinstate them. After all, how could the school possibly get along without their liquid-inspired researches?

SHOULD THE WOLFPACK BE BROUGHT BACK?

Adventist leadership says it was a drunken party.

The researchers, by counsel, claim they were exercising academic freedom.

But what difference does it make, since the results speak for themselves. Brother Jackson is no eunuch.

As the Wolfpack is finding out now. The hard way.

So let them go to Bangkok!


RELATED READING:

David Asscherick Exposes the La Sierra Evolution Scandal

Midnight Prayer Vigil at Pacific Union College

Clifford Goldstein - What it means to be a Seventh-day Adventist

Ted Wilson thinks some Revival and Reformation is Needed